


Icebreakers

by ararelitus



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Background Little/Jopson, Crack, Crack Fic, Ice, Innuendo, M/M, UST, deepthroating of popsicles, outsider pov, past/implied dundy/fitzjames, the dangers of ice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22531918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ararelitus/pseuds/ararelitus
Summary: “Fitz, are you sure this is wise?” Dundy asked.James Fitzjames sat beside him, slowly dragging his tongue across the full length of a red, white and blue striped popsicle. He cast Dundy a sideways glance, licking his lips, showing off his now purple tongue.__Or, the wardroom meeting but James is deepthroating a popsicle...
Relationships: Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48
Collections: The Terror Bingo (2019)





	Icebreakers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [for_autumn_i_am](https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_autumn_i_am/gifts).



> This is why:
> 
>   
>   
> 

“Fitz, are you sure this is wise?” Dundy asked.

James Fitzjames sat beside him, slowly dragging his tongue across the full length of a red, white and blue striped popsicle. He cast Dundy a sideways glance, licking his lips, showing off his now purple tongue. 

“Why wouldn’t it be? It’s tea time, I’m just having a treat,” James said. He turned the popsicle downwards and wrapped his lips around the tip. 

Dundy looked away, resting his face in palm. By now he was all too familiar with James Fitzjames’ great game of seduction. He’s seen the way it’s ruined men of all stations and frustrated the finest of ladies who got caught up in trying to win James’ affections, unaware of where his heart truly lay. Dundy himself knew the game, and James’ many skills beyond eating popsicles, intimately. 

He looked around at the other officers filling the room. Little sat across from them, blushing, trying his best, but unable to turn away from the sight. Gore focused on the shelf ahead. On occasion his eyes strayed to James, turning back once noticed by Dundy’s watchful gaze. Hodgson smiled and shook his head. Irving cast him a smile, almost unaware. 

Sir John sat down at the head of the table. “The popsicles were a marvelous idea, huh James?” he asked, patting James on the shoulder. 

James pulled the popsicle out of his mouth. “Oh yes, Sir John.” He looked back over at Dundy, signaling that _oh, he’s only getting warmed up_.

“Now, where has our Captain Crozier gotten to?” Franklin asked. 

The door opened, Francis Crozier marched in followed by Thomas Blanky, and finally Jopson.

James shifted beside Dundy, rearranging himself several times before finally settling on a position sitting back against the chair. _Ah yes, this charade was all in Francis’ honour._ James didn’t need to say a word, he was never subtle, but this kind of act meant he really had it bad. _It’s a shame_ , Dundy thought, _Crozier won’t even notice._

“Shall we get started then,” Franklin said, “Francis, you called this meeting?”

“Yes, Sir John, I wanted to discuss the matter of the ice,” Francis said, sitting across from James. “I’m afraid our situation is more dire than we imagined.”

“Dramatic opening shot,” James said. He stared at Francis, taking a broad lick across the tip of the popsicle. 

Francis glared. “The ice out there is a present danger to us all, we’ve all seen the sun dogs.”

“Yes Francis, we have, but the passage is within our grasp, mere weeks away. I don’t anticipate any issues with the ice,” Franklin said, sipping his tea. 

Dundy glanced over at James. _Oh God._ James had tilted his head upwards, pushing the popsicle down further and further. Dundy nudged his elbow. _You don’t have an ounce of shame in your body, do you, James?_

“The danger is very real. Only four of us at the table are Arctic veterans and- and-” Francis’ attention turned to James. “Christ, perhaps we should be worried about the dangers of ice both on _and_ off the ship!”

James elegantly pulled the popsicle back, he tossed his head to the side, sweeping a lock of hair out of his eyes. “There is no danger here, Francis.”

“You’ll catch your death like that, eating ice cream in this weather! A sore throat, or worse, you could choke like that!”

“Oh, I assure you Francis, I won’t choke. Nor will my throat be sore.” James took a long lick up the side of the popsicle. 

Jopson leaned over Francis, hesitantly tapping him on the shoulder. Francis brushed him off. 

“Gentleman,” Franklin began, “I think-”

“What are you doing James? I’m telling you the ice is dangerous and there you are, shoving it in your mouth!” 

“Francis, unless you have a better suggestion for what I should do with my mouth, you should leave me to my treat,” James said, unflinching. 

Francis’ fist crashed down at the table, startling all but James Fitz-shameless. 

“Sirs, if I may?” Henry Goodsir interrupted. 

“By all means, Mr. Goodsir,” Franklin said. 

“There’s nothing to suggest that consuming these popsicles, as you call them, would cause any harm.”

James gave Henry a nod and brought the popsicle back into his mouth. 

“Is no one else taking this meeting seriously?” Francis cried.

“Captain, I don’t understand the issue, why can’t we have a little popsicle in the Arctic, as a treat?” Irving asked. “Commander Fitzjames has the right idea here, we should all follow his example.”

The officers turned to stare at him, even James chuckled. 

“What?” 

“Well, if there’s nothing else to address here, I suggest we call this meeting adjourned,” Franklin said, closing the book in front of him.

“What of the matter of the ice!” Francis said. 

“We’ll address your little ice issue later, Francis. Nothing to worry about now, all is well.”

Officers began shuffling out of the room. Little couldn’t get out of there fast enough, but not before casting a gaze at Jopson and blushing. 

James Fitzjames sure knew how to bring out the drama in any situation. Somehow, even hardly saying a word, he’d pulled some confession from everyone in the room. 

Blanky burst into laughter beside Francis, catching Dundy’s attention. 

“What the hell just happen, Thomas?” Francis whispered, not very effectively. 

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re that daft, Francis?” Thomas nudged him with his elbow. 

“This ice is no laughing matter and you know it,” Francis turned to stand.

“Francis.” Blanky sighed, reaching up to rub his temples. “Oh, Francis.”

“Well, are you satisfied, Fitz?” Dundy whispered.

“Hardly, I’m insatiable. But I suppose this will tide me over for now. Until next time on Terror.” James licked his lips, still staring at Francis, even with his back turned. 

“Must you terrorize him so? Why not just _speak_ to him?” Yes, that would save them both all this trouble, and maybe then Francis would catch even the slightest hint of what was happening between them. 

“Oh, my dear Dundy…” James turned to him with his dark eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Now, what would be the fun in that?”

~~~

“That whole display, how did he even know I’d be speaking of the ice? If he knew it was a concern, why did he have to antagonize me so?” Francis shrugged out of his coat, letting Jopson take it. 

Jopson shut his eyes, sighing to himself, praying he wouldn’t have to explain _that_ to Captain Francis Crozier. “Sir, I’m not sure he was mocking you-” 

“Oh, he was mocking me all right!” Francis began tearing at the buttons on his waistcoat. “With that hair of his, and sitting like that, and those damned frozen treats! It’s like that whole man’s purpose on this earth is to torment me!”

 _Oh this is worse than I imagined_ , Jopson thought. “Sir, please, have you considered an alternative explanation? Perhaps a kinder one-”

“Why?” Francis turned to face him, face turned and brow crooked. “If he wasn't mocking me, what could he have been doing? It was almost suggestive, dirty, like he was...” Francis’ eyes went wide. 

“There you have it, sir.” Jopson turned away from him, taking the moment to roll his eyes out of Francis’ view. He studied the cuffs of Francis’ jacket.

“Christ! You mean, he… He couldn’t… Could he?”

“Sir, I should be off to mend this jacket. I’m afraid you’ve cracked another button on the table,” Jopson said. 

“Oh. My apologies. Of course Jopson, by all means.”

Jopson slipped out of the cabin. This was something Francis needed to sort through on his own. Besides, Little would be off duty soon, and there was much to be learned, much to be _tried_ , from Commander Fitzjames’ display…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much CrafterOfWords/@fire_every_time for the beta!
> 
> I wrote this at 5am. 
> 
> Terror Bingo fill for "UST."
> 
> If you liked this, please consider reading one of my more serious Fitzier fics (but still with some comedy!), such as "Where none intrudes" or "With such devotion"


End file.
